The A-Line Skirt

These look so harmless. Adorable, even. Sweet, charming, youthful.

Beware.



Look at this! Come on, who can resist the Catholic schoolgirl look?*

Back away slowly. Approach with caution.

There is nothing that makes a woman look younger than an A-line, especially when it's an A-line on a short skirt. Seriously. I went to Catholic school. I wore the plaid. I know.



And not younger in the good way. Younger in the way where no one will take you seriously. I think it's the attitude conveyed by the full skirt/narrow waist silhouette: very little-girl lost. Think about it: why was the 17-inch waist and huge hoop skirt the en vogue for Scarlett O'Haha and other Southern bells? That look is the classic male fantasy, in garment form.

And so when you wear A-line anything—making your waist look smaller and your bottom bigger—you are basically saying: I am young, I am fertile, I can carry your babies, please breed with me.

... Okay, obviously that's going a little far. And obviously, a smaller waist is something most women want, and will buy clothes to create. (I certainly do.) But there's no coincidence that women cast off their corsets and freed their waists in the 20s to declare their independence.



Seriously. Look how happy they are! Smiling! Laughing! Kicking up their heels! And then check out these unfortunate women:



Okay, that was mean. This is Queen Victoria. She's not exactly known as the life of the party. But she couldn't have been happy having her hefty Hanoverian frame stuffed into a corset.

So. A-lines need to be worn with caution. If you're going to a job interview, stay away. You will look like a little girl, which is not the look you should be going for. This is kind of heartbreaking for me, because an A-line skirt is my favorite separate. But I'm updating my wardrobe for the adult era, and some things have to go.

*There was a time in the not-so-distant past where all I wore was variations on the Catholic schoolgirl theme. Plaid miniskirts, all the time. However, I am older now (I won't say how much older) and wiser, and am backing away from the Catholic schoolgirl thing. Well, most of the time.